Who or what am I in essence?

Imagine that you no longer have any assumption about yourself..., that all labels/qualities that you (and others) attribute to yourself, fall away from you...
You no longer identify with certain labels and characteristics: I am honest, restless, cheerful, introvert, compliant, sociable, harmonious, a black-eyed viewer, a dreamer, an artist, loyal, smart, stupid, creative and so on. None of that…
Imagine that you no longer attach to certain ideas, beliefs, concepts, a political party... Yes, opinions and points of view pass by, but in the end you realize that these are relative, you don't hold on to anything, not to any belief, because you realize that these aren't the truth - the essence of us. They are only ideas, concepts, opinions that are subject to change. What we believe is true today, can be different tomorrow. And everything that is subject to change (thoughts/emotions) doesn't reflect our essence, doesn't reflect 'That' which is unchangeable, our Nature, Beingness.

Imagine that you no longer identify with all the roles that you fulfill in your life. The role you fulfill from your profession or social roles, including all the opinions we have about these roles in us: I am married and that means that I don't meet up with a friend in the weekend (assumption), I am a mother/father and as a parent you always have to be ready for your children (assuming), I am a grandmother/ grandfather and as a grandmother and grandfather you are of course always willing to help and to look after your grandchildren (assuming).

Imagine that you don't identify with gender, sexual preference or skin color: I am gay and as a gay person you haven't an easy life (assumption), I am a Negro and that means that white people are against me (assumption). No identity on sex, sexual preference or skin color, being black or white or being heterosexual or gay, doesn't define who you are - in essence.

Imagine that you don't have a view of the world or a human image. For example: people can be trusted, people are selfish, people are heartless, the world is a mess, etc. And you don't have an assumption about life itself: life is good, bad, pleasant, gracious, hard, lonely etc. 

You are in the moment, now, without all those assumptions, without thoughts, without roles, without beliefs or convictions, without expectations, without desires, without ambitions, without self-image (image), without purposes, without history, no past, no future, no name..., not a woman or a man..., nothing.
Naked, naked and naked again…
What will remain if everything that has been taught to us, what we believe in, falls away?
Emptiness, Essence, Beingness, Pure Awareness, Truth, Reality, Love.

Pure awareness itself is absolute (not subject to change), like the sun. Many forms and colors appear in Pure Awareness, but the Awareness itself is unassailable, neutral, unconditional, ever present, without judgment (like the sun that ever and always shines).
That is our essence: Pure Awareness, Emptiness..., infinite space..., where all energies (thoughts, feelings) come in, are recorded, known, felt and let go.
There is no clearly defined 'I', there is consciousness, there is Life. We are Life itself, we are Consciousness. Our essence is Divine, is Love.
The flow of Life has many colors and forms, which are experienced and released through us. Unless we cling and identify again. Then we forget who we are in essence and we get entangled in the dream, the dream of illusions, the dream of the mind. We believe that we are the colors and shapes, we believe that we are our views, roles, assumptions, qualities (this is me, this is true and that is not true). We believe that we are 'someone'. We are identified with our self-image. And identification always leads to 'suffering', 'collision' and 'conflict' on the moment that reality doesn't match our image, our expectation about ourselves or about the other, the world and life itself.
From where do we feel so much the need to cling to ourselves, the need for a clear-cut self-image, the need for 'this is me'?

We don't know better... We have learned to see ourselves as a separate 'someone' with certain characteristics. An I-awareness has been given to us from an early age.
What would it be like to let go of the grip on the imaginary I- the ego? To be out of openness and emptiness? To let Life flow its own way? To surrender to existence from trust and total relaxation? 
To hand over the helm? To flow with the existence itself?

Story: Illusions (Richard Bach)
Once there was a village full of creatures at the bottom of a large crystal river. The stream went silently over them all - young and old, rich and poor, good and bad, the stream went its own way, and knew its own crystal Self.
Each creature clung to the branches and rocks on the river bottom in their own way, for clinging was their way of life, and everyone had learned from the birth to resist the current.
But in the end a creature said: 'I'm tired of clinging. Although I can't see it with my own eyes, I trust that the flow knows where it is going. I will let go and let it take me where it wants. If I cling any longer, I will die of boredom.'
The other creatures laughed and said, 'Fool! Let go and the current that you adore so greatly will make you crash into the rocks and you will die sooner than boredom!'
But the creature didn't pay any attention to them and took a deep breath and then let go. Immediately he was transported by the current and hit against the rocks. After some time, when the creature refused to cling again, the current however raised him above the bottom and he was no longer hurt. 
And the creatures that lived downstream, for whom he was a stranger, cried: 'Behold a miracle! A creature like us, he flies! See the Messiah who has come to redeem us all!'
And the one in the stream said: 'I am no more a savior than you. The river is content to free us if we only dare to let go. Our real work is this journey, this adventure.'

We are the river..., our real work is to live the journey of Life..., surrender..., let go and be carried by existence, by the flow of Life itself, because that is what you are: you are Life, Light and Love...
www.awarenesscoaching.online
LinkedIn: Caroline Ootes

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