Posted on by Bewustzijnscoaching

Why do others view me so differently than I do myself?



Why do others view me so differently than I do myself?

We have all been given the option (potential) to awaken, to come to Love, to Consciousness. A divine gift, a possibility. Some of us feel a strong call, from the inside, for total liberation: they follow a spiritual path with a master who has awoken, and they practice Vipassana meditation (1), because they realize that Pure Consciousness is the gate to total liberation.

Others do not feel that call, but they do long for liberation from deep, painful basic convictions, which stem from the psychological mind (the "I", the ego). The suffering that comes from those deep imprints can also serve to awaken from the dream state. 

Often liberation does not happen, because Pure Consciousness has not yet been recognized, so the identification with convictions (and the resultant suffering) is so strong that we simply avoid challenging the convictions and allowing the connected pain to melt. It simply feels too painful to enter into, too painful from the perspective: what I feel and think is true (identification with the psychological mind).

Nevertheless, we all do our levels best, we are all on our way and one tulip is blooming in May, the other in July. 

Those who want to come to Love long for liberation from the yoke called "I"  which gives humanity, deep down, such a strong sense of loneliness and alienation. The ‘I’ (ego) which applies everything to itself.
‘I’ means tension and a self-centered attitude, which stems from the fear: Am I welcome?  Do they like me? Am I really a part of the group? Am I good enough? Everything happening around us, in interaction with others, leads to this self-centered attitude, to self-talk. We think about ourselves for hours, because we apply everything to ourselves: he isn’t looking at me is translated to ‘he doesn’t like me’; and if we don’t receive a reply to our e-mail, we are afraid we may have said something wrong etc.

In essence, the psychological mind knows two modes: attraction or rejection. Attraction means: getting what you think you need or deserve, often through manipulation, from neediness. In other words: life or the other person ought to give us what we can’t give ourselves, because we are not at home in our Heart. 

Rejection means: everything we want to get rid of, everything we perceive as unwanted, everything that inhibits our alleged happiness or sense of well-being, actually everything we say 'no' to: I don’t want to experience, feel, face or acknowledge this. 

And it is these two modes of the psychological mind (attraction and rejection), resulting from identification with an ‘I’, with all convictions connected to that, that make people suffer. The basic tenor of the ‘I’ is fear, in contrast to the basic tenor of Life itself, which is Love.

Some time ago, a client visited my practice with the following question: I feel such a massive difference between the way others view me and the way I feel inside, how is that possible? People see me as an independent and strong person, who can help others with advice and wisdom, but I feel insecure and afraid of rejection, especially falling short and not belonging, and I often feel that way…, like I’m not a part of the group, excluded (for the reader: this is the ‘I’ and the self-centered approach to life, the self-talk, the psychological mind; a collective inclination based on age-old conditioning).

I ask her whether she can show others this insecurity and vulnerability. In many cases, no, she shows the outer world a self-confident attitude.
Then it is not strange that the outer world views you that way, isn’t it? Yes, that is true, she says.
What scares you about showing your vulnerability and insecurity? I ask.
Well, she says, when I show that, I feel like I disappear or dissolve.
What do you mean, disappear or dissolve?
Well…, I have the feeling that I don’t belong, and then I see this image of myself, standing outside the circle.
Do you recognize this from the past? It seems to refer to a family in which there was no room for vulnerability, softness, insecurity…, did you feel like an outsider in your family?

And then the stories start to flow:
She graduated, and some family members were there but her father was absent. After the graduation ceremony they get home, and the family members confront her father: your daughter graduated, shouldn’t you congratulate her? Her father answers: it was no more than her duty. He turns around and walks away.

She goes to gymnastics, it is evening, she has a nasty fall, the teacher calls home and asks her father to pick her up. He tells the teacher: she should just work out a way to get home. That night, she sleeps in the house of her teacher and his wife. When she gets home the following day, her father walks away without greeting her or looking at her.

She falls off her bike in front of the kitchen window. There is blood, grazes, the bike is damaged. Her father says nothing, except: you will pay the damage to the bike yourself.

And there are many similar experiences to share, she says quite composedly (an attitude that relates to her question: showing no vulnerability).

Imagine, I tell her, that mankind incarnates here on earth with a package of convictions that the soul took on to resolve during this lifetime. And the circumstances in which a person is born matches completly with these convictions so that the soul has the possibility to resolve these beliefs…, to reach liberation, to clean up that facet of the diamond. And existence is merciful…, you can take as long as is needed…, one life or hundreds of lives…, it is up to you, existence makes no demands, it is eternally patient and compassionate.

And if we look from the perspective I just outlined: the soul who brings along a package of convictions to work out during this life (or a next one); the soul who attracts those circumstances that match these convictions…, then what is the conviction that ‘your’ soul wants to resolve, I ask?
 
What is the conviction, that has a deep imprint in you?

I can’t be vulnerable. Showing softness, vulnerability, pain and insecurity leads to lovelessness, rejection and exclusion.
Yes, I say…,  and that is exactly what your soul wants to solve in this life. Do you see the perfection of existence in this? Do you see how these circumstances match with what 'your' soul wants to experience and heal?

And can you see that vulnerability is a great power, which is very disarming, unlike your conviction that showing vulnerability only leads to rejection and lovelessness?

You live on one side of the spectrum, but like light and dark can’t exist without each other, vulnerability can’t exist without the other side of the spectrum: inner strength and independence. Existence is challenging you to unite or outgrow this seeming contradiction. Strength is only truly strength when it carries softness and relaxation within it (and vice versa).

It is up to you whether you face the resolution of this conviction, but if you continue to act (or avoid action) based on this conviction then nothing will change, you will remain the captive of this conviction and you will leave life with unresolved convictions.

Thankfully, existence is merciful and simply gives us another round to work out what has not yet been resolved. The question is whether this is what you want? No, she says, if possible I’d like to heal all in this life, but how?

See (Be Aware) how this pain shapes your actions. See the movements of the mind. The principle of attraction based on neediness/pain: searching for confirmation ‘I belong’ or doubting whether you belong. And the principle of rejection, i.e. avoidance: I don’t want to show vulnerability, because I don’t want to feel the pain of exclusion and lovelessness.

Break the pattern of avoidance: show your insecurity and vulnerability. Realize that you interpret others behavior based on this deep conviction: they will not like me if I am myself, if I also show my vulnerability and insecurity.

If your daughter-in-law doesn’t return a call, take responsibility for the way you interpret this, do a reality check: is it true that you don’t want to have contact with me? Yes that’s true, she may say, I know that you empathize, but I haven’t recovered from the concussion yet and I need rest. Feel the pain of exclusion when it is triggered, while realizing that the pain says nothing about your daughter-in-law, but everything about the interpretation that you attach to it; it is old pain (exclusion), a residue from this life and others, that is being triggered, that hasn’t healed yet.

What is going on in me, but what I don't say outloud to her: go meditate (Vipassana), so that Pure Awareness can sprout and then the convictions are seen through and gradually extinguish. 

From Pure Awareness it is much easier to clean up your history, because identification with the psychological mind (e.g. convictions) loosen up (or dissolve completly), so that the pattern of avoidance is seen through and the pain can melt, without much effort: it no longer feels so ‘real’ or ‘true’. 

From Pure Awareness rises the possibility of total liberation. 

Liberation is the light of the diamond in its totality and not merely one or a few facets like specific convictions based on karma that you (the 'I', ego) try to change in this life. If you only focus on solving all kind of issues of the psychological mind (the facets), total liberation is not possible, because the psychological mind, the 'I', the ego, stays in charge, you are the one who is working hard to improve your state of being, but it is the identification with the 'I' that causes the suffering in the first place. And the psychological mind will continue to bring up a new problem after you have resolved the previous one. So meditation is a strong medicine to provoke Pure Awareness, to break down the identification with the psychological mind (the 'I'). 

Pure consciousness means transcending the mind; the light is 'on' and it shines: all convictions/problems gradually extinguish naturally in the Light of Awareness; no strong effort or hard work (= the 'I') is necessary. Yes, sometimes we have to descend deeper into certain resistances, but from Pure Awareness it's a totally different experience (less painful) than going deeper into the resistance from the mind. 

So, meditation enables you to break free from the wheel of reincarnation and karma, because you transcend the mind = it is the highway. 

If Pure Awareness is not recognized, you will remain a prisoner of the mind, a prisoner of the 'I' throughout your life, you are working hard on all kind of issues, but liberation will not reviel and then rebirth is a fact.

Time and time again, I am amazed by the strong influence of these deep convictions, which shape the lifespan of a person without their awareness. I listen and hear the strong identification, which goes hand in hand with the thoughts and emotions (that they firmly believe), which emanate from these convictions. And I feel/hear/see the perfection of existence throughout this lifespan: the potential for liberation, for which the soul is longing, liberation from the deep imprints from this life and others, which is the force behind this birth in these circumstances. 

It is this suffering, which is caused by the 'I' with these convictions, that pushes people to start searching for healing. What a beautiful design of existence. 

And I also see the other side: the massive power of maya, the total identification with these convictions which people continue to repeat, an entire life until death follows… and the next life… from which I say: look for a living master, practice self-inquiry, practice Vipassana meditation (1), in order to escape from the hold that the psychological mind has over you (including what I feel and think is ‘true’). 

(1): for more information and an introduction to Vipassana, have a look at http: //www.vipassana.nl/ 

Boeddha: the best way to stay in samsara is to resist it. Samsara is the wheel of endless birth and death under the influence of delusion and karma which causes suffering. 


www.thehealingcircle.one 
Linked-In: Caroline Ootes
Posted on by Bewustzijnscoaching

Where Love is, is Freedom.



"If you believe that the person who you love should be different then she/he is, then you don't have a relationship with her/him. You have a relation with an ideal image in your head. You have a relationship with your own thoughts." (Scott Kiloby)

Before you read on, take a moment to examine the following question: 'What does Love mean to you in relation to your lover?'
Below are some answers, which have come over in exchange with people:
  • That you love the other person as he/she is... Even if he is grumpy or doesn't meet his/her appointments with you or is busy with the phone instead of with you...? Do you still love him or her?
  • If you really love someone, then you are there when the person needs you... Right? Then you are prepared to set yourself aside.
After all, you are not only living for yourself.
  • In a love affair you agree with each other what you are going to do. You can't always do what you want, you also have to adjust to your loved one... Even if the inner voice actually indicates a different choice at that moment? Yes, even then.
  • Love is respectful to others, so you say 'yes' to an invitation to a birthday party or wedding party, even if you feel a 'no'. Not going is not loving towards the other person. You wouldn't like it yourself if people didn't show up at your party, right?
  • A love relationship is not only a love affair with the person him/herself, but also a relationship with his or her family. If you are not invited by your sweetheart to his/her family, then there is something wrong..., then he/she doesn't really love you, because otherwise he/she would involve you into the family, right? 
Or the other way around: if you indicate that you have a relationship with him or her and not with his or her family, then according to your partner that isn't a full-fledged relationship, because that includes encounters with the family...
  • Love means that you don't criticize your partner in company. Even if you don't agree with your partner or if you really notice that he/she is talking nonsense…, you don't speak out because you don't want to hurt him or her. You have to be tactful, so that he/she doesn't have to feel ashamed or experience a loss of prestige in the sight of others. And above all, you don't want to have problems with your partner afterwards.
  • Love means you like being together, you want to spend as much time as possible together, you go on holiday together, go to friends together, watch series together on the couch etc. Or the opposite: you don't want an intimate relationship, because you experience a relationship as suffocating.
  • In conclusion..., Love is exclusive, special: I only love you... even though I sometimes dream about someone else who really listen to me and understand me... 

And is that then Love, the package of images/beliefs that we must adhere to or behave under the denominator of 'Love'???

Is that Love with a capital L? Love that is unconditional: love that doesn't want to change the other person, but takes the other person as he/she is. Love that doesn't get disturbed if the partner behaves differently from all those views and images we have about Love?

Or do we talk about love with a small letter 'l'? Love that sets conditions for the other person: I only love you if you follow a certain image I have about you and about love. Love that exists by the grace of rejection, disapproval and hate. In other words, a love that waveres: one moment I love you, the other moment I absolutely don't like you, I hate you and I dream about another partner who is capable to give me attention and see me as I am. 

Love that consists of needfullness, the other person must make me happy: he/she must give me a feeling of safety, support and friendship, because being alone and figuring everything out on my own is to difficult for me.
We think we know what Love is, Love with a capital L. We assume that the conceptions of Love are Love itself, but is that so?

And at some point we step into the marriage boat... because we love each other so much..., we marry to seal our love relationship…
But if we know so well what Love is, how is it possible that one in three marriages ends in divorce?

Well, we have just been brought up with different views (ideas) about the Heart, about Love and it is precisely these views that make us miss the Love with a capital L.
The head versus the heart.

Maybe we don't know what Love is. Perhaps the Love that we know exists only from all kinds of ideas about Love, but that is not Love itself, it are only ideas that we have received in the course of our lives, based on all sorts of cultural, religious and social influences.

And a recipe for Love is not Love, it is a recipe and a recipe leads in advance to frustration, loneliness, emptiness, disappointment, fear and guilt. The other doesn't meet up our expectations..., he/she doesn't behave according to the recipe, according to all conceptions of love that come from the mind. He/she doesn't make me happy..., he/she doesn't take me into account, he/she doesn't want to do anything for me, he/she is always working etc.

The heart however, has no conceptions about Love, the heart is Love. The heart makes no choice: for or against. The heart rejects nothing, is open, unlimited and unconditional, without any requirement or expectations towards the other.

The heart has no resistance switch. Love is total acceptance of what is, which, incidentally, doesn't mean that you take everything as sweet cake from the other and accept it.
It also doesn't mean that you can't express your wish or desire... you can, but don't expect a 'yes' in advance or if the other person says 'no', don't interpret this as: she/he doesn't love me.

Recently I listened to a satsang from Adyashanti.
An aged man who was born and raised in Japan said the following about his 30-year marriage: "When we marry in Japan we don't assume that we know what Love is, we see marriage as a possible opportunity to discover what Love is. At the beginning of our marriage there were all kinds of aspects to my wife that I didn't appreciate, that I wanted to change; some things of her bothered me and I tried subtly to change certain characteristics of her until I discovered that it wasn't Love with a capital L, so after a few years I stopped doing that. It took me 15 years to extinguish any form of subtle manipulation, to totally accept my wife as she is. And now I can rightly say that we discover Love."

Perhaps it is time to recognize that all these images of unconditional love are not Love itself. Let's start there..., let's assume that we don't know what Love is..., let us see through all ideas and opinions for what they are: inventions from the mind, the head instead of the Heart. Let us approach the other from openness and emptiness, all demands and expectations on the shovel. Maybe..., maybe we discover at some point in our lives what Love really is...

If you love a person, how can you destroy his or her freedom?
If you trust a person, you trust his or her freedom too.
(Osho)


www.thehealingcircle.one
LinkedIn: Caroline Ootes
Posted on by Bewustzijnscoaching

Emotions are not good or bad: they are. I'm jealous.



        I am jealous.                  

Emotions are not good or bad: they are. 
They are there because they have a message for you. 
The fact that emotions and thoughts are there, indicates that they have a right to exist. They are. They come from the Void, from the Source, from Beingness. 

If we are identified with - in our eyes - unpleasant emotions and thoughts, then there is suffering. If we view our emotions and thoughts - from pure awareness - then there is space around these emotions and thoughts. Then there is the possibility to judgment-free observation of everything that takes place in us. 

No emotion or thought is good or bad: they are. At the moment that we can perceive emotions and thoughts, there are other options for these 'annoying' emotions and thoughts, namely: self-examination. 

Example: 
I am jealous, says Suzanne. It really doesn't make sense, but it is true. What is the situation? Suzanne went with her boyfriend to a massage parlor. They both had a massage appointment that took place simultaneously in a separate room reserved for them (without other massage customers). 
Okay, I say, and what happened then? Well, there was an old masseuse and a young masseuse. The young masseuse first washed my feet and then washed the feet of my friend. Yes, and then? 
I (Suzanne) thought: the young masseuse will give me a massage, because she washed my feet first... and the old masseuse will give a massage to my friend, but that's not how it went... 
The young masseuse went to my friend and the older masseuse came to me to give me a massage. Okay, I say, and then? 
Well, I couldn't stand it that the young masseuse was going to massage my friend, while I really, deep down, wanted the old masseuse, because they aren't so soft as young masseuses and I like a solid massage. 
And then, what happened in you? I say. 
I couldn't enjoy the massage at all. I thought: that young masseuse has deliberately swapped with that old masseuse so she could massage my friend. The whole time I was keeping an eye on her while she was busy with my boyfriend and I felt very jealous. And then another thought came up: I can't be jealous, that is stupid. 

Good that you see all that, I say. And if you do some more research now, do you realize that you are driven by interpretations? The interpretation is that the young masseuse was actually meant for you, because she was washing your feet first. 
Why should she be meant for you? Because she first washed your feet? 

And is the thought 'true' that she would rather massage your friend? Could it be that the old masseuse is spared a bit and that the appointment is that the young masseuse washes all the feet? 

Or that the old masseuse gave instructions to the young masseuse that she had to give your friend a massage... Or another explanation..., many possibilities why situations run as they go... 

And you color it as you see it, not as it really is, but as you see it. It is your interpretation, your coloring of the situation, it says everything about you than about the situation itself. 
Yes, says Suzanne, that is true, it are all assumptions on my part..., of course I don't know what actually takes place in the head of the masseurs. 
No, I say, exactly, you don't know. You are coloring the situation with all kind of images..., we all do, you are really no exception. Until we start waking up from our assumptions... and see that we look at the outside world through a colored pair of glasses…

Okay now a step further: if every emotion has something to tell, what does the jealousy of this moment tell you? 
What is hidden behind the jealousy? 
That he gets so much attention from her..., she says, that they are so intimate with each other. 
And what does that tell you? 
I'm actually jealous of the attention he gets. 
And if everything is projection, what does this tell you? 
That I long for his attention, for attention for each other.
Is that completly correct? Is this what is hidden behind the jealousy? I ask.
Yes, says Suzanne, last week/weeks we had a very busy time with a lot of visitors, we had little time for each other and I felt that I wanted to spend some time alone with him, but there was no space for that, at least that's what I thought. 
A friend (woman) of my boyfriend stayed with us for one week before she would go abroid again and my boyfriend mainly paid attention to her, he didn't see me at, all attention went to her.
Okay: and how would it be for you to ask for that attention? 
Hard, says Suzanne. Because? 
Well, I don't find it easy to recognize that I need attention from him. Okay, so there seems to be a ban on needing attention? I say. 
Yes, says Suzanne..., I hadn't seen it that way yet... 
Well, then you know what you have to do, I say. 
Express your need: Dear darling, I would love to spend some time together with you, I have missed you over the past few weeks and I feel like a small child who needs attention... and I was very jealous of that friend of yours who asked so much attention from you... and then you also got that young masseuse who was so intimate with you..., I couldn't stand it any longer, I want you all for myself, when is that possible? 
Oohh, she says, exciting to share so openly what is happening in me and to put my need for attention in the light and express it, but I will do it.
I'm curious, I say. The need for attention melts automatically when the taboo is seen through. Recognize that this need for attention lives in you..., utter yourself, live the need of attention..., until it is no longer an issue..., because you don't make it an issue anymore, because attention versus no attention as imprint (pain point) in your system goes out. Then there is no more charge on the theme of 'attention'. But if you resist this need, the charge will only increase and jealousy will stick to you for a long time. And I know everything about that… 

And if you don't get the attention you ask for, because your friend makes another choice at that moment..., and it hurts…, feel the pain. It's the pain of the young child that didn't get the attention she needed. Feel the pain, knowing that it is 'old pain' without blaming your friend for not having attention for you at that moment.Take responsibility for your own 'old pain'.
And make a new appointment with your friend for quality time.


www.thehealingcircle.one
LinkedIn: Caroline Ootes
Posted on by Bewustzijnscoaching

Projection: Don't leave me...



Projection: Which images do you stick onto reality? Don't leave me...  

'Yes, nice, that blog of yours about attaching images, but it is really true that he left overnight. Although you say that I am not the emotions and thoughts, I feel a lot of pain, disbelief, anger and sadness. So, what's up with that?'

Well, not easy and very recognizable, because sometimes I am also surprised by an image that I identify with (that I believe and value as truth) from which a story arises with the result of 'suffering'.

A few years ago there was such a situation.

The joints..., that is a weakness in 'my' body. I had just started in the gym: to work on my condition. I started calmly, but soon I experienced an injury in the knee joint. The knee became thick and the doctor indicated that a piece of bone might have been loosened (a joint mouse) which caused the pain. In addition, before the knee injury, I had given our bathroom a cleaning. Let me try again, I thought, even though I knew (memory) that the shoulder joint doesn't really appreciate it, but you never know. After giving the shoulder joint rest for some months, it seemed worthwhile to try and see what cleaning the bathroom meant for the body (the shoulder and the knees). Pain and limitation were the result.

These two situations led to identification with the pain, identification with the body, and the following story arose after a visit to the doctor: 'Gee, the left ankle worn out and the right kneecap..., now also the left knee and again my right shoulder..., if this goes on, what will happen with this body in the future?
What if I ever stand alone?' And then the GP casually says: 'It will not get better in the future, only worse... and there is little we can do, you will have to live with it.'

Sadness overwhelmed me when I got home..., and I noticed that I identified myself with the GP's thoughts, I believed them, I got caught in them, the joint pain was fixated by the mind. The story of the GP and the pain itself were taken by the mind as: forever, the rest of my life, always that pain and it only gets worse... I saw myself being taken away by the thought (the story of the GP), the emotion (grief), the pain (which was reinforced in the consciousness by the story I believed).

Well, everything you give attention... grows. And for a few days, now and again, I was crying.  Until the moment I woke up again from the dream, from the story that had started through the events with the knee/shoulder and the communication with the GP. I became present again, in the NOW. And I realized that I didn't know what the future would bring. Yes, the doctor's story could be true (that it will only get worse), but what the future really has in store for this body is unknown. If I fully go along with what the doctor mirrors, if I identify with the image (an idea, not reality itself) of a possible future (which doesn't exist, only the NOW), then I project to the future: worsening, pain, decline of the joints.

If the identification with this thought is no longer there, then there is this moment, then there is pain now, then I can check whether there is a medical intervention/physiotherapy or something else to relieve the pain in the joints..., and that is it then, PERIOD, end of story, I don't know the future.

In addition, I know from previes experience that the degree of pain in the joints has ups and downs. There are times when I hardly experience any pain and there are periods when pain is present. So nothing is fixed for the future (which doesn't exist), I don't know what the future will bring.

Once I was present again, the story had fallen away from me..., and what about the physical pain? A lot lighter, because I didn't attribute value to the story anymore. And who knows which medical progress will take place in the coming years which can be significant for the joints...

Yes, but what about 'abandoned'?

Ask yourself what those words actually mean and what they refer to. The reality is that he makes a different choice and continues on his way. What you are sticking onto it is that you feel abandoned. Is that story correct? Well, he adored me, he placed me on a pedestal and overnight he left me. I can imagine that that is very painful ...

Yes, I felt loved and when he left, I felt completely thrown back upon myself. What do you mean? I ask.
That there is no one for me..., I feel lost and lonely, he has just abandoned me.

What part of you looks through the lens of 'abandoned'? Is that the mature woman you are... or a memory from a gray past that you stick onto the present?

Ohhh..., yes..., I didn't look at it that way..., she says, my mother died when I was a small child and I felt abandoned by her. Now I feel sadness...

Let it be..., I say. It's not easy when someone you loved (mother/partner/child) suddenly disappears from your life. It's not nothing if you finally thought that you received the attention and love that you longed for all your life and then suddenly he disappears from your life, for that moment, because you don't know if another connection can arise from the goodbye. But for NOW the connection, the exchange, ceases to exist. That hurts. And it is necessary that you allow the pain to melt down.

And realize that this child pain, where neediness in the now comes from (need for attention, being loved, being welcome), has been living in you since your childhood..., long before this partner appeared in your life. The pain you feel is the pain of the child who felt abandoned and lost when her mother died.

Go to the root and experience this deep pain..., then the pain melts and you no longer need to transfer it to a next relationship. Feel the pain, totally, without the story..., the story doesn't matter, don't analyze it.

You don't have to wonder why things went as they went with this partner. You don't have to wonder which signals you have missed, causing the other person to disappear overnight. You don't have to dig into your past to find out which events have made you feel like you feel right now. If you do, you become entangled in 'stories', 'memories', 'past' or 'the mind'.

The only thing that matters is the emotion 'being abandoned'.

For you the origin of the pain is already clear: the death of your mother, that is enough. That emotion, the feeling of being left, is still stored in the cell memory. Give yourself the space to fully experience this emotion, from the realization that you aren't that emotion, but the loving presence (awareness) in which this emotion, this pain, appears. It is unprocessed pain that we transfer to the next relationship, unless we are prepared to totally embrace this pain. Just allowing the emotion that comes from the thought: he has abandoned me. Child pain..., that's all. Allow it and it will disappear from the blueprint of the cells.

And another addition: you are not the only one who carries this 'child pain' (actually it is the pain of separation). As long as we (humanity) are not at home in our hearts, as long as we still live from a survival structure (fear & shortage & lovelessness) and raised from there, we are needy beings. That's how it is. What we know is conditional love (I only love you, if you...) and our essence has been overshadowed at a young age by a layer of fear and deficiency (the identification with the mind/I). No one is to blame, no one can be blamed, this is the current state of affairs of humanity. See, recognize the old pain and take responsibility for it.


www.thehealingcircle.one 
LinkedIn: Caroline Ootes